The Not-Valentine's
by Libri Crudelitatis
Summary: Everyone knew that the date february 14th was something special and yet, Valentine's was overrated and helped neither Soul nor Maka in the slightest. Another Valentine's, another chance, another possible loss. How good that Valentine's was just jinx and that they believed in it little enough to not depend on it for maybe-confessions.
1. That day again

**Ehm. This is a chapter story, but the second chapter will probably take a while. I apologize in advance.**

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><p>Although Shibusen was a rather … <em>unusual<em> school, there were some times when the meisters and weapons didn't seem too different from normal students. One of those events was Valentine's Day.

Well, it might have not been _too_ different from other institutions, but in an academy where the students were educated in killing pre-kishins and aligning wavelengths, most of them already from childhood on, not even something as simple as giving chocolates could be the same as in other schools. Normal schools.

Fights against aforementioned pre-kishins or traitorous witches who didn't heed the pact could end up deadly and most of the battle-hardened students were so focussed on classes, training and missions that they hardly had the nerve or the time to pursue a serious romantic relationship, but ironically it was the elite group Spartoi where love had been blossoming the strongest in Shibusen recently.

Though, recently might have been the wrong thing to say, or maybe the right word to use instead of "blossoming" would be "realized", the feelings had begun to grow years ago after all, but as a thirteen-year-old a person would tend to misread their own emotions of love as a very strong friendship or devotion to their partner. Now all of Spartoi had grown in height, strength and also wisdom and knew how to read what was there correctly.

So apart from Kim and Ox, who had already hooked up long ago because of his constant noisiness about how much he adored her, several teens were troubled as to whether they should use the opportunity of Valentine's Day to confess to their special person or to give it a rest and shut up about it for the next few decades and maybe longer, an option that wouldn't seem too appealing to anyone normal.

And that was where the difference came in: Yes, any normal person would never even consider the second option, but a weapon that was possibly in love with his meister would act on caution first, not on feelings. Could you still be in an effective partnership if a rejection would make everything awkward? Would the rejector still trust the rejected with everything when the rejected was looking for something more and possibly restraining himself from jumping the rejector? Could a partnership be wrecked by something as simple as a confession?

Those were pretty much the thoughts of Soul "Eater" Evans, the last deathscythe in history, self-proclaimed cool guy and hopelessly in love with his meister.

She was determined, she was gorgeous, she had a temper like Godzilla, she was violent when she was cranky and most of all, she was too good for him. The possibility that Maka, his wonderful, strong, _beautiful_ meister could maybe fall for him seemed to have chances about nil. He would lose so much if he decided to go ahead and tell her when she didn't have those feelings towards him. It would probably be too much to handle.

He had tried dating before, back when he still didn't know what the weird warm feeling in his chest appearing whenever his Maka was concerned meant, back when he still only wanted to get away from it. It hadn't worked. He had found something wrong with the girl every time of the few dates it took for him to understand, be it that they were too dumb, too flirtatious, too just-not-right and a bunch of other things. One time, he even thought that a girl's bust was too big. He had slightly wondered if that was even possible and the answer was surprisingly little in his favour. When it finally got to him that he had been searching for traits of Maka in every girl that came his way, that she was the one he wanted, that he'd never want anyone that wasn't her, he had pretty much given up hope about the whole romance thing. It still bugged him though, thoughts of _why didn't he do something about it already_ running through his head every so often.

And if he gave him a chance, if she gave him just one single chance, he wouldn't fuck it up, not with her, not with that. If she ever gave him a chance, he was going to nail it. It might have been stupid to other people if they knew just how hung up he was on this girl, but to him it would be a lifelong goal to get her to love him in a different way than platonic. If she ever gave him a chance, he wasn't going to let her go that easily.

But if there was one thing that was certain, it was that she would never tell him something like deeper running affections on a whim. She was the kind of person that would simply bottle it all up inside her and try to forget it without saying a word to anyone. Her trust in stabile romantic relationships was currently higher than before, but he was sure it was far from easily accepting matters that had to do with possible cheating and the broken pieces that it caused. That was why if he ever wanted to change things, he'd have to take matters in his own hands.

If he'd change them in a positive or a negative direction was yet to be decided.

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><p>Unbeknownst to Soul, the subject of his thoughts and affection, scythe meister Maka Albarn, was thinking about similar things. Ironically, they were thoughts about her weapon, who had no idea of his incredible luck and was thinking about how he didn't have much chances with her, just like Maka was thinking about how much she loved, adored – everything she once swore she'd never do – her weapon.<p>

How in the world had it gotten this bad? When exactly had things changed from simply caring for her weapon to missing his mere presence and feeling the addicting need to always stay by his side? When exactly had the walls she had built to protect herself from romantic feelings and the sorrows that came with them crumbled? She only knew that they had and that if she just blurted this out sometime, she would probably mess up their partnership badly if he didn't feel the same.

If.

Because no matter how she looked at it, it wasn't 100% sure that he didn't like her that way and the small chance that he did could come true in a heartbeat. Still, that did not mean that she had to take a small chance like that, even if she wanted to just throw away all caution and reason away and – mind you – jump him the next time he stood before her simply being himself. It would be like gambling and Maka Albarn did not gamble. Maka Albarn calculated.

But how could she calculate a person like Soul?

She stared at her reflection in the mirror, as if her self on the other side of the glass could tell her the answers to all of her problems. It stared back just as blankly and she wanted to chop _herself._ It was unsettling enough that for once she didn't know the answers to the test of life that should have been obvious to her, but consoling her mirror image about it went too far.

She splashed a little cold water into her face and chided herself for thinking about things that would do her no good and inevitably make her feel lonely. Especially on this horrible, horrible date, February 14th, the accursed day where nearly seventy percent of the female student body decided to profess their so-called "undying love" for her weapon with a letter, chocolates or full-front confessions. Take your pick.

School today would be such a pain.

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><p>As expected the classroom was noisy today, full of blushing, giggling girls and loudly boasting boys, shouting out how many chocolates they had gotten before class alone. Most of it was probably a lie, because if she added up all the chocolates they had presumably gotten, that would be more than the number of girls who had even arrived at Shibusen up until now. She shook her head at the stupidity of it all.<p>

In the next seconds however, that consisted of Dr. Stein coming (or rather rolling) in and telling them just what they'd dissect today, a change erupted from the carpet of annoying noise:

Apparently Patty did not like the fact that their teacher had made their dissection-object for today a giraffe – a baby giraffe at that – and threw herself at him with a battle cry and a mean glint in her eyes, attempting to save the innocent animal from the maniac's clutches. Despite her heroic measures to come to the poor thing's rescue like Superman would have done, Stein simply dodged her and threw a scalpel in Patty's general direction. The blade barely missed her.

But Patty, silly as she might have been, had lived years on the streets and knew how to play her cards. In this case: Kid. As the new Shinigami, he managed to bribe – ah, no, _persuade_ the crazy scientist to use his secondary dissection object today and let the giraffe be brought to the nearest zoo. Given that there wasn't a zoo in Death City, Patty decided to keep it until she could bring it to one.

The scene was so ridiculous that Maka felt the corners of her mouth lift up in a smile. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. Today – that she was sure of – would be the one time she was glad that her friends were such lunatics.

And she was right. Patty's animal-loving side that almost cuddled the little giraffe beside her seat to death, Kid's little but continuous symmetry-fits about the asymmetrical Valentine cards everyone was showing off, Liz's Brooklyn Mode, that activated when she was annoyed by constantly being interrupted from the serious task of painting her nails red by too many suitors that immediately ran away after a few death glares and death threats, Stein's normal freakiness, Marie's overly happy gushing at the romantic day and her students, and also Black Star's anger when anyone that wasn't Kid, Soul or female dared to come to close to his goddess were things that made the contras of the day worthwhile.

Contras like the sea of letters in Soul's locker, the mountains of chocolate on Soul's seat, the sheer number of girls that confessed to Soul, and the lack of any romantic interest directed towards her. Not that she would have responded to it, it just would have been nice knowing that someone appreciated her in any other way than as the meister who had made the last deathscythe. It wasn't that unreasonable to ask that someone noticed her as a girl, right?

Because her ankles were not fat and her breasts may have been a little under average, but they were certainly there and noticeable, Soul could go die in a hole. She doubted that he knew enough of the female anatomy to appreciate or degrade it. It was just his subjective opinion. And sadly, that was the one opinion she wanted to be positive.

Well, it wasn't like there was anything she could do to change his opinion on her sex-appeal or lack thereof. Besides seduction maybe, but that was a job she would gladly leave to Blair. It didn't seem to work either. After years of stuffing her breasts in Soul's face, the cat had still not accomplished anything besides major nosebleeds and Maka-chops.

Not that the feline would really have wanted to, that would have just been plain creepy. The cat and her weapon, who was decidedly too young for her, even if the purring seductress might or might not have had a thing for younger boys? That was something she wouldn't want to see. If that had anything to do with her dislike to see Soul hook up with _any_ girl (or guy for that matter, she wouldn't judge him), that was her problem.

The rest of the day went by as predicted. Stein dissected, couples were born, girls confessed to Soul. He rejected every single one of them. Sometimes she wanted to ask him why, only to see that he was looking at her, eyes begging her silently to rescue him, he couldn't stand those fangirls any longer. And she would roll her eyes and tug him away before some drooling female went apeshit and jumped him. They were pretty annoying and one glance at Soul's face told her he thought the same.

They went through the back door that day and left the motorcycle at school. Walking was better than being overrun by a dozen of girls that saw the bike as the perfect confession place. They thought they could trap Soul into a corner, because he _had_ to get his precious bike. Too bad her weapon was smart enough to use another route. The walking didn't do him any harm either.

At home, the atmosphere felt like every day again, warm and comfortable. She cooked, he did the dishes and when they watched TV, some drama that she didn't really pay attention to, they lay together on their small couch, limbs entangled and breaths almost mingling.

Another Valentine's Day down.


	2. Post-war

**This chapter should actually be called "The Chapter In Which Nothing Really Happens", but that would be too long, even though it would probably be very descriptional (is that even a word?) and fitting. But I hope you'll enjoy the nothingness, even if it is, well, _nothingness_. About thousand words of nothingness actually. But I'm rambling, aren't I? Ehhhh … onto the story!**

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><p>He stared at the date. February 15th. He stared again. It didn't change no matter how much he glared at it.<p>

Valentine's day was over. And he hadn't told her.

He was so damn stupid. For once in a year, the romantic atmosphere throughout the day had been exceptional and he had wanted to use that as a kind of, well, help. And look at what it had brought him. In the end, he hadn't had the courage to do it and even though the atmosphere hadn't gotten down the drain, it hadn't helped him either. Now the anticipating mood of Valentine's was gone for good and would be replaced by the cheesy After-Valentine's air. It made him cringe at the whole sappiness and corny love-sayings and after years of living with Maka he knew that she felt the same at the post-war-atmosphere.

Post-war atmosphere with him as one of the side that had lost yesterday. The side that hadn't been able to win for yet another year. The winners though, they were awful, always, every Valentine's. It wasn't that they did anything to spite the losing side, it was simply their existence that was unfair in itself, the existence of winners who had gotten the girl with not even half as much trying and pining as him. They would smile broadly, show off their happiness to the world and be all happy-go-lucky. Then there were the real bastards that ogled way too many girls for their newly acquired girlfriend to find funny. Simply put, they would just be _there_ and be there as winners that sometimes couldn't even value their victory.

Being on the losing side sucked.

He looked at the calendar again and the date didn't change. Well. There was that. And with one last glance at the clock he decided to wake up before alternatively Blair or Maka made him. Those "wakings" ended up with a get-together with the frying pan most of the time, so they weren't exactly nice.

Whatever. Better wake up before Maka got cranky.

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><p>He had experienced it beforehand, he had expected it and yet he was dumbfounded by the number of cheesy looks and lines he encountered. They made him fall into cold sweat and even though he would have definitely liked to get the girl, it would have been hell and totally weird if Maka said something like that to him. Corny. Sappy. Itchy. Then again, Maka seemed even more irritated by the whole ordeal than him and that said pretty much everything. He was pretty sure that she was about to kill the next couple that dared to be lovey-dovey before her eyes and years of experience had taught him to pull his irked meister away before the scenario from last year could happen again. He shuddered inwardly at the thought. Yeah, a repeat from last year would be bloody. And creepy. And fucking terrifying in his opinion.<p>

When they passed a corridor leading into the unfathomable labyrinths of Shibusen, he made the mistake of looking sidewards. Only a few seconds later and farther away did he register that he had just witnessed Kid sneaking his hand under Liz' shirt while she had been … biting him? Sure, Kid wasn't exactly a student anymore, quite the opposite actually, but urgh. The Shinigami could at least keep the groping at home. It was just … unfair.

When he heard a Maka-esque gasp behind him and turned to see his gaping, red-faced meister, he noticed that she had seen too. She looked absolutely like a librarian in the movies, the one that was going to lecture the students about proper school behaviour and public decency. She'd make a great librarian, a freaking hot one. So incredibly hot that that should be a crime in itself. Something about the image of her as a librarian surrounded by her lethal weapons half to wholly naked was very … his thoughts were kind of derailing into the dangerous zone of fantasies.

She was definitely overreacting though. Sure, they shouldn't really do something like that in a public space, but at least they had found a dark, narrow hallway that no one went through to do that. It wasn't like they had been doing anything beyond groping and biting.

"Th-that … how … _why are they having sex on school grounds?"_

Se- whoa, what?! Kid and Liz hadn't been doing that, he would have noticed. That, and he was sure that they had both still had their pants on, which would lead to the very imminent question, what the hell Maka had seen.

"What're you talking about?"

"The hallway on our right! They were … and … and then …"

Oh. The other hallway. Other people.

"They shouldn't be doing … that_._ Not on _school grounds_. _**Not where everybody can see them!**__"_

Maka was beet red by then and he halted to pull her into a corner. She would kill him if he let her walk into class that red and spluttering. When she could think again she would, that was. She wasted no time thinking like him and buried her face in her hands, banging her head against the wall. That had to have been some serious lovemaking if it disturbed her this much.

"Cool down. Just … think of books or homework or other nerdy stuff."

She glared at him behind her bangs and he had the sudden apprehension that he would probably end up being the successor of the wall she had brutally acquainted her head with before his intrusion. Only that he wouldn't be as unyielding as the wall and that he'd rather keep his blood to himself, black or not. To his luck though, Maka didn't do anything. Well, anything that had to do with potential harm against him, she did sigh and rest her forehead against the wall.

"You know, if you're exhausted already, it's just gonna get worse. The post-war atmosphere will be that much more sickening by lunchtime."

She chuckled slightly. "Post-war? That's a new one."

"I guess. We should probably get going. You'll be late."

"Only me? You don't care about being late yourself?"

"Eh, doesn't matter. 'M cool either way."

"Says the same person that cried because of the end of a chickflick."

"Shut up, you know what I mean."

"Mmhm. Sure, _cool guy_, lead the way."

With that she placed her hand in his. Apparently she meant "leading her to the classroom" very literally and he wouldn't argue with that. Her hand in his felt nice, like it always did, but there was no way he'd actually tell her that. At least not today. So he made sure to tug her with him without another word and without a single glance at their linked fingers, because it would have made hopes more prominent that he wasn't even sure he should be having. Better being a pessimist and getting a nice surprise than being an optimist and getting crushed by a not so nice surprise. Because he probably would end up being surprised, it was Maka after all.

With a little smile he tossed his earlier thoughts away and took a spare glance back at her. She smiled back when she noticed and just for a moment he felt her hand tightening its hold on his.

So maybe he was too optimistic. Maybe he shouldn't dare hope so much. Maybe the surprise he would get wouldn't be that nice after all. But as he mentally prepared himself for the battlefield of After-Valentine's, her small, warm hand in his, he couldn't care less.


	3. Washroom of Confessions

**So, uh, first sorry for taking so long. I was pretty busy with a writing contest, so I hope you'll forgive me. And second, this chapter is a (slightly belated) birthday present for Tigerlillyth. Hope you like it and may this year bring you luck :)**

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><p>She wanted to kill someone right now. Preferably with bloodshed and many, many broken bones.<p>

Why was it that even when Valentine's was over, the battle still continued? And this fiercely at that! Why did all the couples seem to try to outdo the others through sappiness, the "best atmosphere" and the fanciest date, she wondered. It almost seemed to her that the dazzlingness of the relationship was more important than the relationship itself, that which was – or should at least be – the actual cause for the dazzlingness. Now it apparently all came down to money and the ability to hold up a farce of happiness. It was as if Valentine's and the relationships that followed were done simply for the sake of popularity and the opportunity for easy lays. It was just ridiculous.

Most relationships that were born from the stupidly pink day didn't last more than two weeks anyway, so why go through the trouble of spending so much money and time on something that would shatter so soon after?

Maybe she was biased. She was, after all, one of the people that would never use something as simple as a so-called special day for something like a confession. She could see how the atmosphere might help a little, but in the end the chances for success were as high as on any other day. In fact, other days might even have a higher success rate. It all depended on how you played your cards and she couldn't see how the date february 14th was in any way a benefit.

She had once asked herself if she didn't like the atmosphere because she had no one to enjoy it with, but she had realized very fast that she just disliked the idea of a single day to show affection, as if it wasn't necessary on the remaining 364 days. It reminded her too much of her father, who used to cheat on those 364 days, yet never failed to make the biggest speeches of her mother's beauty and bring her the fanciest bouquets. No doubt a favour from the last florist he had fooled around with.

She was now honestly contemplating to ask someone (probably Soul, really) out, on a day before the next accursed V-day, only to avoid even the slightest chance of being asked out on exactly that day. Someone _would_ ask her out, and if not next year, then the one after, because by then all the other girls would either be taken or an ex. With each year it became more apparent just how much more boys than girls went to Shibusen. And when finally someone decided to use her as a last result, she didn't want to bash in their face for feeling hopeful and courageous enough to ask anyone out, even if it was a last chance kind of thing.

That was really the only thing she envied all those lovesick fools for. Courage. She might have a great deal of it when she dealt with battles and powerful foes, but when it came to love, she was a little lost. Maybe it had to do with the fact that normally Soul was always there to back her up, even in the darkest of situations. But not now. This was something she had to do alone, something she had to gather the courage for by herself. She wasn't stupid enough to think that she would still be alone with her feelings after she had told him. Even if it ended in a painful rejection, he would still be there. He was just that loyal. That was still no reason not to be afraid though. Yes, he would still be there, but no one said it wouldn't get awkward. That was most of the reason why she hadn't told him yet. The other was that even though she could read him like a book, she couldn't figure out why it was that he hadn't made a move on _anyone_ yet.

"Maka, it's lunchtime. The wall's already terrified enough, you can stop glarin' at it."

She looked up to find almost everyone gone from the classroom and the sight of Soul looming over her, looking a bit impatient and almost … worried? She tried to glare at him for being so annoying (she had been halfway through sorting her thoughts, that was almost as if she was halfway through reading a book), but she gave it up after a grand total of forty seconds, because she could not glare at someone who had perfected the kicked puppy look, although she wasn't quite sure that he even knew he did it.

"Sorry, just a little irritated. Let's go already."

When she stood up and walked past him, she could swear she heard him mutter something about weird bookworms, but she let it slide when she noticed the relief in his voice. It made her feel bad, because here he had been genuinely worried about her and she hadn't done anything but glare and throw a few words at him. Then again, he couldn't have been that worried. What was there so worrisome about her spacing out? It would have been different if she had been sunken into her thoughts while something important came up, because then he would have known that something was wrong with her, that it wasn't just something small, but he had believed her when she had chalked it up to some little irritation. He couldn't have known.

Come to think of it, he worried about her a lot. And excessively, almost as if he found some sick pleasure in it. She had come to terms with it early on, had never questioned it, but what exactly was his reason for it? She might have just dismissed it as a weapon thing, but she didn't think any other weapon was quite as protective of their meister as Soul was of her. Except of course for the ones who were … seriously romantically involved with their partner. Did that mean that she could hope?

She looked back at Soul, who raised an eyebrow quizzically, and a new doubt rose in her mind. If by any chance he did feel something for her, why hadn't he acted on it? Right. Because there probably weren't any feelings to begin with. Not like hers at least.

"Something the matter?"

Actually, yes. Did he love her? Was it alright if she told him that she did or would she just make a fool out of herself? Did she have a chance? Would he give her a chance? She wanted to ask him all of it, but her throat constricted painfully and she wasn't able to say any of it.

"No. Yes. I'm … just going to the toilet, can you save me a seat? And get me a sandwich?"

"Demanding, aren't we?"

"Please?"

"Alright. Just don't take to long or Star'll eat your precious sandwich."

"Mhm. Will do."

They parted ways after that and she could feel his eyes linger on her back, worry flaring up in his soul again. She should have acted differently, dammit. Not so _un_Maka. She was feeling very unMaka too, all insecure and fearful. Shouldn't she be more courageous than this? It was no wonder that he was worrie about her, she would have been too. She had to get a grip on herself or she would just cause Soul unnecessary worry. She didn't want to burden him with anything, much less her jumpy thoughts. At least she felt his gaze leave her after she went around a corner. Hopefully he would be distracted by Black Star or Patty or someone else and forget that she had been worryingly unMaka today.

She sighed as she rounded another corner to the girls' washroom. She would have to spend the rest of the day pretending to feel to feel perfectly _Maka _or he would just go on worrying himself to death.

In the washroom, she splashed a little water at her face and noticed, as she looked into the mirror, that she had done the exact same thing yesterday. And like then she didn't have any intentions of sharing her emotional problems with her mirror self. It wouldn't have helped anyway. It wasn't as if an inanimate object (or the reflection on it) could tell her the solution to the universe or just her own little turmoil.

"I like you!"

A girl's voice broke the silence and she turned around, a little miffed. If she, whoever she was, was confessing to a boy, then _why was there a boy in the girls' bathroom?_

There wasn't one. There wasn't anyone. Just a girl, red-faced, was standing in front of her. She faintly remembered her to be one of the younger years of the NOT class. Her name … she believed that it started with an R or a Z, but she didn't actually remember it. The girl was still just standing there, looking at her and – oh no. Oh no, no, no. It wasn't … it wasn't _her_ the girl was talking to, right? Surely there had been some weird coincidence for the girl to look at her while she said something like that, right? She was probably just practising confessing, right?

"I like you, Maka Albarn!"

Or maybe not.

"Would you please go out with me?"

What in the world had she gotten herself into this time?


	4. Lunch Break and Confusion

This day officially sucked.

First, the given reasons of the season were self-explanatory. He had at the beginning foolishly thought that this year would be better than the last, because Maka hadn't beaten anyone too annoying to a bloody pulp yet and he'd thought that maybe she had started to accept the accursed day, but then she had gone ahead and been all spaced-out and weird. It grated on his nerves, especially since he didn't know _why_ she was behaving this way and it worried him. Silent, spaced-out Maka was usually a lot worse than angry Maka, because silent Maka was usually brooding over something important, yet wouldn't talk to him about it for some stupid reason. And usually, things tended to get worse the more she thought about it. And the more she lost herself in spiralling thoughts, the harder it was for him to convince her that it was alright, that she was stupid for not seeing the simple solution. No, it hadn't been her fault that he got hurt, he decided that all by himself. No, she definitely was a good enough meister, but couldn't she open her eyes and see it for herself that he wasn't strong enough alone? And no, he wasn't let her going to break up their partnership, because he'd never, ever want another meister and that if she was just doing it for what she thought his sake, then he was going to put a stop to her stupid actions. Most of the time, with things like these, he had only figured it out after the problem had already become rooted inside her, but at least he had figured it out some way or the other. And until now he'd always been able to bring her back. How was he supposed to do that if she didn't let him know what the hell was up with her? He was afraid that someday because of something like this, of some miscommunication he hadn't been aware of, things really might break. He was afraid that he'd lose her because he hadn't figured out what to do fast enough.

Also, he had absolutely no idea as to what could be bugging her. Nothing serious had happened that she would feel the need to worry about. And for the things that had happened in the past – well, as far as he was concerned, they had talked about everything that really needed to be said, about everything that needed to be set right. It couldn't be those thoughts from the past, because if it was, then he'd done a more than crappy job at talking it through with her.

He didn't think that was the real problem this time though. Granted, he didn't think she had any reasons to be spaced out either and yet she was. So much for thinking. Not that that was his strong point anyway, it was hers and that was probably the root of the problem and her weirdness today. The only possible explanation he could – with his stomach churning – fathom, the only thing that could possibly upset her (at least that he was aware of) would be if she had somehow noticed his feelings for her, but … no. He had kept his feelings under a tight lock and if she had somehow found out despite that, he firmly believed that she would act differently. Because, surprise, surprise, if it was him with the problem then she wouldn't stop at anything to resolve it if he let her. Not that that would be an easy problem to solve, he couldn't just stop loving her after all, but he was pretty damn sure that she'd try. He wanted to call her a hypocrite for it, for keeping something from him when she wanted him to open up to her completely, but he kept his mouth shut. He was the same after all. It wouldn't be fair to say that he was completely open to her after all, not after he had kept his pining for her a secret for the last few years. So yes, he was a hypocrite too, but if she had a problem, why couldn't she just get it on with and talk to him about it? He was her partner, goddammit! The one thing he wouldn't blame her for would be if she had exactly the same problem as he did, being in love with his partner, but that had remained a wishful fantasy of his throughout the years. Why would it change now? God, what if she really had found out that he loved her? What if she was just thinking of ways to break it to him nicely that they were done, that she couldn't stay together with a weapon that hadn't been able to keep his feelings platonic?

He needed to calm down. He wasn't going to freak out on her, not now, not in public. He'd save that for later when they were home again, because he honestly didn't think he could stand not knowing any longer than that. She probably didn't know and he was freaking out for nothing. It was probably just another of those stupid misconceptions of hers, because she wasn't just avoiding him in particular. Sure, somehow she hadn't looked him in the eye much today, but that didn't have to mean anything. She hadn't looked anyone much in the eye today because of the simple fact that she was too far absorbed in her thoughts to notice much of the things going on around her, mindlessly slurping some milkshake with scrunched up nose, fixating a point somewhere between here and Nirvana.

"Maka! Hey! _Hey!_ LISTEN TO YOUR GOD WHEN HE'S TALKING!"

The booming voice of Black Star seemed to be enough to somewhat snap her out of it and blinking she shifted her attention from point x to the blue-haired assassin, looking a bit displeased at the interruption of her thought process. No seething anger for being yelled at like that, no demanding that he act like the mature man he was supposed to be and not like some overgrown toddler, no Maka-chop. No nothing. He was starting to develop the alternate thesis that she had somehow managed to get sick again after just two weeks … although it wasn't very likely, she was tougher than that.

"Hm? Were you saying something?"

Of course, that was not the most sensible thing to say to the biggest ego on earth and for one moment the eyes of said egocentric meister flashed in anger that someone would dare to not listen to their god and he opened his mouth to say something – probably many curses and demands that she listen to her god – but the bloodlust in his eyes quickly deflated and Soul was surprised at the almost somber look of his nutcase friend, who was usually the exact opposite of somber.

"You need to get laid, Maka. Even someone as big as me has to forgive you for not listening to me when you're that frustrated."

_Those_ words and the fact that Black Star was crazy enough to mean every single one of them seemed to wake Maka up with a start and spluttering she raised the all-known book threat. Black Star didn't even have the time to make a tactic retreat and several Maka-chops later Soul was glad to see his fuming and indignant meister glomp down the remains of her sandwich. Now if she'd just stay that way long enough for him to get to the reason of it all and he'd be golden. Hopefully. He supposed he should be thanking Star for letting her get a bit out of hand, because that was the normal Maka. The one he was used to. But at the sight of his passed out friend he knew he definitely shouldn't thank Black Star for something like that in Maka's presence or he'd soon join his bro in the state of unconsciousness.

"What'd I tell ya?" came the croaked voice of exactly that supposedly unconscious moron "She definitely needs to find a way to vent out those aggressions of hers."

Well, maybe he would only join his bro in the state of _semi_-consciousness if he thanked him for riling his meister up, since the moron was persistent enough to stay awake. Or in a coma, what with the way Maka immediately took up two book in every hand to make sure that after this beating, Black Star wouldn't be able to say anything anymore. Soul shuddered a little at the thought. Thank death she hadn't used that particular move on him yet or he would be out for the count for the next few years. He wasn't that resilient. Black Star was only alive because some way or the other his abilities (and pain tolerance) exceeded the ones of normal humans, but he himself was pretty normal in that regard. Better never do anything that would make her so mad that she'd chop him to actual death before risking it just for the chance to see her flush and splutter in anger and embarrassment. With the way things looked, there was an awful amount more blood coming from Black Star's head than usually. Those books of hers really were deadly ammunition.

He watched her as she got back to her drink and the sandwich he'd gotten her. Yeah, he had grumbled about it in the beginning, although half-hearted, but it was merely a pretence to mask the fact that – were she to ask him – he'd do much more than getting her a sandwich. Even if it went against his cool persona. Of course, she knew, at least a little. She just didn't need to know that he would do things even more uncool than the ones he already did anyway. She didn't need to know that he actually had way less problems with being uncool than she thought – at least if it was for her. She didn't need to know. It would give her more power than she already had over him and quite frankly, he was more than sure that she'd use that power. That in itself didn't necessarily bother him, though he didn't necessarily need the boost on the uncool parameter either. What didn't do you any explicit harm – or not much anyway – didn't _have_ to be done at all costs. It wasn't like he'd gain anything by letting her know that he was even more whipped than she gave him credit for, and there was always the possibility that that little knowledge gave her the hint she needed to realize that his feelings _miiight_ just be a little too strong. For now she was oblivious to it (well, hopefully at least) and didn't notice the downright pathetic looks he sometimes gave her … like now. Granted, she wasn't really in the state to notice anything besides Black Star's insults / innuendos and that was only once the ego-based assassin has actually gotten her to acknowledge his "godly presence", but that was beside the point, since she didn't seem to notice even if she was not out of it and he wanted to keep it that way.

"… ul. Soul." He looked up to find Maka standing before him, a bit irritated and expectant. "Lunch break is over already. Let's head back to the classroom."

Well, apparently she could still concentrate enough to notice the bell, so maybe she wasn't that bad off. She was looking him in the eye too and he knew her too well to keep on thinking that she'd figured him out – she hadn't. He didn't see any of the awkwardness or lack of trust in her that he figured he'd see if she did know, although he did catch a glimmer of something else, something he couldn't quite name. Oh well. That could wait until they got home. At the moment he had a class to sleep through.

"Yeah, alright."

He'd figure out what was wrong with her somehow. Not any problem could be harder to get rid off than her knowing of those stupid feelings and since she hadn't gotten that little fact yet, it couldn't be that hard.

He should have known differently at the time, if only because Maka always made things more complicated than they should be.


	5. A bit of courage

**Sorry for being gone for so long, but I've been sick for a while and then had to concentrate on a few tests. On another note, this is about the last chapter, after that it's only the epilogue and that one shouldn't take too long.**

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><p>He was starting to think that the whole thing was actually a lot more complicated than he'd first thought. Okay, he'd admit, he hadn't thought about it too much, but at least he was pretty sure that he'd been right when he had come to the conclusion that apparently the problem consisted of Valentine's day and Maka. That still had been a day ago and if it had only been her normal problem with the day ff relationships she should have snapped out of it by now. Other than Valentine's day, there wasn't anything that could have spurred on this change in Maka, so it had to be related to that, if only a little more difficult than her usual V-day allergy. And when you thought of Valentine's day, the obvious things that came to mind were confessions, chocolate, roses and hook-ups. He'd crossed the last one from his list of Things That Might Have Happened To Maka. She'd been home that night and she wasn't one for instant-sex, not prudish virgin Maka Albarn.<p>

That left confessions. And chocolates or roses, but they basically meant the same. That left two situations in his mind. Either she'd been confessed to and had been troubled since then – he didn't like that one _at all._ It meant that some sleazebag had tried to put the moves on his meister and he thought he had made it very clear to the male population of Shibusen what he would do to guys that asked his meister out. But he'd asked his information network (which consisted of gossip-queen Liz and – unexpectedly enough – Black Star, because "a god knows what's going on") and that didn't seem to be the case. That was good. He'd hoped that no one had dared to make the mistake of trying to ask Maka out, for himself, because he didn't know how Maka would react to his unwanted competition, and for the sorry guy he would have otherwise reminded why he shouldn't have crossed the Last Deathscythe (although really, that title was just as much Maka's work as his, maybe even more). But apparently there was no sorry guy that had gotten close enough to confess to her.

That left the alternative he liked even less.

Because by process of elimination, there was only the possibility of a confession coming from _Maka_ left. While it was true that there hadn't been any opportunity for her to confess (again, Liz and Black Star)and that if she wanted to use her behated day to work her charms on someone that wasn't him, it definitely hadn't happened yesterday, he liked the idea even less than the scenario of some random guy asking her out. Other guys he could still deal with, because he wasn't gonna let any of them get away with asking her out, harbouring the intent to date her or just plain ogling her (it _had_ happened often enough for him to be paranoid and subtly trying to get Maka not to flaunt her assets so much – she was still wearing short, _short_ skirts almost everyday, so he guessed that that strategy had been lost on her). And it had worked so far, he'd only had to beat up one too cocky newcomer a few years back, when the dickhead had had the nerve to ask Maka out right in front of Soul's eyes (she'd rejected the kid in a second flat, probably wasn't her type. _Lucky_). But if she actually liked someone enough to actually want to ask that someone out … if that happened, he didn't really stand a chance anymore, did he?

That thought kinda sucked. And made him depressed too, because there was this great mix of meister and woman and _Maka_ and she'd probably never even notice that he was too hung up on her for his own good, but what the hell was he supposed to do? He'd been lucky enough until now to never really have the need to do something about it, because … well, her falling for him wasn't very probable, but Maka Albarn falling for anyone hadn't been very probable. Until now. He'd asked Tsubaki and Liz about it, because if anyone knew of the possible romantic ways of Maka's heart, it was them (those two had been is best bet dammit!), but instead of an answer he'd only gotten ominous smiles and the instruction to "ask her yourself, it ain't that hard". He had a few things to say to that, but he wasn't in the mood for it and that actually wasn't such a bad idea at all. Talk to her. Maybe offer to help her with whatever crush she had developed (Soul winced at that) and give the guy scary glares when she wasn't looking (he wasn't gonna let his meister run off with a pansy, if the guy couldn't even stand a few glares, then he should run before Maka got the books out). Remind her that_he was still her fucking partner_ and she should trust him a little. He was being a hypocrite again, he knew, but at least his feelings for her were the only big secret he still kept from her (things like that he had tried to cheat off her in the last test were _small_ secrets, they were acceptable). He had her stubbornness to thank for that.

Luckily the time in school passed quickly enough and after a few hours of worrying and not paying attention, he was finally able to just walk alongside his meister and hope that they'd get home soon, because he wasn't sure how long his newfound resolution to talk things out with Maka (and maybe, maybe finally tell her his – on the other hand, no, that could wait) would actually last. It had happened before, with other things, and in the end he'd always chickened out, like that blasted Valentine's yesterday, where he couldn't tell her anything again, despite any plans he'd had. But … this wasn't really about him, was it? This was about Maka acting weird and him needing to get her out of her funk. He was her partner, helping her was what he was supposed to do. If the problem really was about some guy … that would hurt. A lot. But he wasn't her weapon for nothing and if he was honest, she had always been more important to him than his own wellbeing, right from the beginning on. Now, years later, that fact had only become more true and a little heartbreak wouldn't stop him from cheering Maka up.

With his mind made up, he drove home, Maka behind him on the motorcycle. Thank god she'd been so out of it today that she hadn't noticed his own thinking or he would have worried her on top of it all. Still – ever since they got out of school she'd been acting skittish and even though she was holding onto him like she normally would, he could feel the anxiety rolling off her in waves. She probably hadn't even noticed that she'd started resonating with him on a low-key level, but it gave him him a little bit of troubling insight: She was nervous. He didn't know why, but she was definitely nervous and he got the feeling that it had something to do with him. It didn't make much sense, but he'd known there was a problem before and he could hardly ask her to tune up the resonance to let him know what the hell was wrong with her – she'd just bash his head in. Although … with the way things were looking, he'd probably end up getting head-bashed anyway. He wasn't good with words and he'd probably fuck everything up, but well. He had to try.

They reached their apartment and he stopped. Not good. He'd gotten so wound up in thinking that he'd almost forgotten to pay attention to the road. Maka would kill him if she ever found out.

"Ah. We're here already?"

Apparently he wasn't the only one that had been distracted. No wonder it had happened to Maka though, today had proven that she was more than a little out of it.

"Yeah. Pay attention, bookworm."

No answer. He was beginning to think that maybe she was ignoring him.

"Y'know, you can let go already" he pointed out awkwardly. Her only response was to tighten her grip around him. He was trying very hard not to be weirded out and failing. What was up with her today, goddammit? She wasn't normally like this! He didn't move away from her, only turned his head a little to look at her and she promptly buried her face in his back. Great. Was it Creep-Soul-Out day and he hadn't gotten the memo? But … she kinda looked miserable like that and he didn't like it one bit. He sighed.

"If there's a problem, you could've told me anytime" he said, not making accusations, just stating facts. She flinched nonetheless. "You probably should have. You're doing too much thinking when you're alone, Maka." This time there was no flinch, only an exhale and then a faint nod. Jesus, his meister was agreeing with him on the subject of thinking too much. This settled it, she wasn't normal by any of her usual standards and it was freaking him out. He gave her a few moments to explain whatever had happened to her, but she didn't respond. Again. If she hadn't been pressing her face into his back with astonishing strength (her nose digging into his flesh _hurt_, dammit), you could have convinced Soul that he was talking to a wall instead of his meister.

"If you aren't gonna tell me, let go already. Jeez, Maka, it can't be that hard talking to me. You're doing it everyday."

He was probably lucky that she had her arms firmly wrapped around his waist or she would have dented his skull for that. Although … maybe her continued silence was even worse. He didn't know what to do anymore, honestly, because she wasn't talking to him, why wasn't she talking to him, was this a bad omen?

"Ma-" he'd wanted to say her name, try to get her to talk to him, but instead he was cut off by a pair of incredibly soft lips, lips that were attached to his meister, who had the most beautiful blush on her face, and _holymotherofshinigami she was kissing him! Him!_ How did that even …

And then it was over as suddenly as it had begun and before he noticed it, Maka had already loosened her hold on his torso and slipped out of the seat behind him. It was only when she was standing in the open entrance of the apartment-complex, shouting at him to "hurry up, it's your turn to cook", cheeks still flaming red that his higher brain functions returned and with them his ability to think. Maka had kissed him. That was … not a dream, right? He pinched himself. Not a dream. A wide grin spread over his face. It had to mean _that_ – it was Maka after all. This … changed things a bit. A big bit.

He couldn't remember taking any steps, but the next thing he knew he was standing beside her (she'd waited for him, she was obviously nervous but she'd waited for him) and ruffing up her hair.

"I kinda hope I didn't misunderstand that kiss just now, but if you meant what I think you meant, then I love you too, tiny-tits." It probably wasn't the best he could have said and he only huffed in response, but he could see the corners of her mouth tugging up into a small, happy smile.

"No misunderstandings then. I do love you. I really love you, Soul."

His own grin grew even wider, probably showing off all of his serrated teeth. She loved him. Maka loved him. He'd definitely have to mark this day on the calendar.

"I'm happy to know that, Maka."

He pressed a quick kiss to her cheek, just beside her mouth, and watched her flush again, smiling and happy. He had to admit though, there was no way their roles could have been reversed earlier. He wasn't quite as courageous as his meister (throwing himself in front of a blade for her didn't count – that one had been desperation), who'd just gone ahead and kissed him full on the lips with no guarantee that he'd respond positively. But even in the past, Maka had always been the one that had all the courage. As much as he would have liked to be cool and make the first move, he liked it like this too. A lot.

Especially if she would be kissing him like that more often now.


	6. Epilogue

**The epilogue is done (finally) and since this is the end, I wanted to say thank you for reading.**

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><p>It wasn't until later that evening that Maka finally felt Soul come down from his high. Honestly, she felt happy too, very much so, but the giddy feelings he was flooding their resonance with were making her heart thump dangerously loud and she was feeling as if she would burst any minute now from the sheer happiness she was feeling, hers and Soul's both. They'd done more kissing before and even though the two of them were still awkward at it, it was nice and warm and Maka liked it very, very much.<p>

She was currently lying in Soul's arms and it reminded her of yesterday evening. Only that back then she'd still believed she didn't have a chance. Now though, Soul had made it very clear that she had more than just a chance and it felt like all those insecurities had just faded away. He had told her he loved her. Sure, he also brought up the old hated nickname tiny-tits in the very same sentence, but now that she knew he loved her anyway … it felt like her under-average bust (under-average for Death City with its Blairs and Tsubakis at least) was – well, it still mattered, but if he loved her ("and your tiny tits", he'd said in all seriousness when he caught her line of thinking over their wavelength link), then she guessed tiny tits weren't that bad ("they aren't, they _really_ aren't").

She was happy. She was beyond happy, she really was, but she also really didn't want to answer the question Soul was pestering her with right now.

"Makaaa. Tell me already."

She didn't want to. Because it was embarrassing and she was going to be reminded of it tomorrow at school anyway, so could he drop the subject? Soul though either didn't notice her pleading expression or was just plain ignoring it. Judging from the small smirk he was sporting, it was probably the latter.

"Maka, just tell me what happened."

Right. Because Soul being Soul, he had quickly found out (how was beyond her) that there had been some kind of incident that had triggered the kiss. The very first one. Couldn't he just be happy with how things were now? But no, he couldn't just keep cuddling with her, he just had to pry with those stupid, _stupid_ questions.

"Maka …" she didn't know how he'd gotten so close to her face without her noticing, but it was somewhat unnerving, not to mention very distracting, to suddenly find his lips so close to hers (now that she knew how soft and warm and _nice_ they were, she was having a hard time keeping herself from kissing him, especially when he was dangling that nice and kissable mouth in front of her) and his eyes staring into hers with such intensity. It almost made her want to tell him, so that they could get it over with and go back to lip-locking …

"Please?"

And that did it. She was able to deny her weapon much (i.e. sleeping in class, eating take-out all week long, cheating off her in tests or just generally lazing around the whole time without doing his chores properly), at least she normally was, but not when he was pleading like this. Somehow she was beginning to think that her loving him gave him an extremely unfair advantage. But one look at his eyes (_dear Death_, those eyes were going to be her downfall) and she was surrendering. Telling him what had happened with the girl in the washroom. How the girl had confessed to her, even asked her out. How she'd rejected the girl because she loved _him_ (he was smiling then, crooked and lopsided, but genuine). How the girl had asked – ordered – her to at least ask Soul out already if she was getting rejected because of him (he guffawed at that, because "my meister had to be beaten into shape by a NOT-kid", resulting in an angry huff from her and him apologizing with a light kiss on her chin when he noticed that maybe his reaction wasn't the best if he wanted her to continue – he didn't seem to be able to keep his hands off her, Maka noticed, he was still holding onto her right hand and was sitting in extremely close proximity and she liked it). She told him how the girl had pointed out that it was unfair keeping something that big a secret from her partner. And how embarrassing it had been to have been told that by a girl at least two years younger than her to notice that.

"Stop thinking about it as embarrassing. I know _I'm_ glad she talked some courage into you." Well, when he said it like that … she was glad too. If that hadn't happened they really would be only weapon and meister still, wouldn't they? "And I noticed it too." When she looked at him confused, he added "That I was being a hypocrite not telling you my feelings and wanting to know yours. Even so, I still didn't have the courage to do something like you did." But she'd always been the more courageous of them, she knew he thought that way. He'd told her before.

Just when she thought that, Soul yawned, teeth showing and she kind of felt weird thinking that it was adorable when normal people would have rather classified it as a shark's grin. He then tugged on her shoulder to get her to lie down with him on the couch (which she did, because now she had the _right_ to cuddle with him all night long and didn't have to feel guilty because she thought Soul didn't love her and cuddling with him while harbouring those feelings would not be right).

They fell asleep like that, lying as close together as possible _because they could_, and her last thought before drifting away way that – embarrassing as it might have been – she really needed to thank that girl.


End file.
